A window into my identity crisis

If I were to become completely transparent as a man, you would see that often my greatest struggle is a continual pursuit of finding my identity. It' like who I am is never static or fixed; it always seems to be subjective to what I want other people to think of me. Not all people mind you, but only those I hold in reverence. To the rest, I quickly dismiss with the hollow mindset of, "I'll just be myself, and if they don't like me then I can't change that!"  You see, I get their identities wrong too in believing that anyone is somehow beneath me. Meanwhile, I elevate the praise of others almost as if they themselves were idols because at my core, I was made to worship.

Though I rarely look inward, it's at my core that my identity is found. It doesn't matter what others say about me; it doesn't even matter what I say about me. So then; where then is my worth, my identity found? I'll let spoken-word artist Propaganda explain:

"Worth, value, and beauty are not determined by some innate quality, but by the length for which the owner would go to possess them. And broken and ugly things just like us are stamped 'Excellent' with ink tapped in wells of divine veins."

In the end, the only words that will ever carry any weight about our identity are those spoken by God. And not only did He speak; He acted. He stepped in, rescued and redeemed us. In Isaiah 43 He assures His people of their worth by saying, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you."

If you're like me, in no more than a weeks time you'll forget this. The very words your soul seeks to hear from God you will crave to hear from others. His words will be drowned out by the world and an infectious desire for self-gratification. That's the very reason I can rejoice in a passage like Psalm 107.

Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
     prisoners in affliction and in irons,
for they had rebelled against the words of God,
     and spurned the counsel of the Most High.
So he bowed their hearts down with hard labor;
     they fell down, with none to help.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
     and he delivered them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
     and burst their bonds apart.
Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
     for his wondrous works to the children of man!
For he shatters the doors of bronze
     and cuts in two the bars of iron.

You see, God frees us from one of our greatest captors: Ourselves. Therefore, "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in a time of need." Love you guys, thanks for taking the time to see what God is teaching me!

He remains

     It just hit me that I have been a complete failure at keeping my blog updated so I would like to update everyone on what has happened since my last post. The walls at Matthew's Place are up and the cintura (a belt of concrete around the top that's job is to make sure the roof is level) is poured and we are ready to start on the second floor. Outside of a village called Cherechiu we have started building a house for an old couple whose previous home burned down. In a matter of about two looonggg days we poured the foundation, built the walls, and poured the cintura.
     As far as the rest of my ministry goes, Caleb and I have inherited Wednesday night church at Meirleau and the Friday bible study at government housing. I ask that you would pray for Caleb and I that God would use us to teach these kids his word. I am also going to be taking a couple of the guys with me to the gym in order to use that as a platform to teach God's word. We will be doing a bible study afterwards on what it means to be a man of God. If you would like to get involved and sponsor one of the guys, memberships are 65 lei a month, or about 20 bucks. They are excited about the chance to get in shape and even more thrilled about somebody taking the time to disciple them.
     On a final note, I would ask that you would pray for one of my close friends. God has really laid him and his family's salvation on my heart and given me a deep compassion for them. His name is Buck, and I can't wait to see what God does with his life. I want to leave you with some scripture. Recently I did a word study on what it meant to be holy, because if we are to serve God wholeheartedly then we must be holy because he is holy. It comes from 1st Thessalonians chapter five verse 23. It says, "Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again." Verse 24 concludes by saying, "God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful. Remember 2nd Timothy 3:13, "If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is." It is encouraging to know that for every shortcoming I bring to the table, God brings more than enough mercy, grace, and patience to overcome that for HIS glory. Hope to update soon, don't be afraid to shoot me a reminder!

15:58

This week I'm going to be getting a good preview of what life to come is going to be like when the Bruski's go back to the states in October. They're taking a much needed (and deserved) vacation before mission trips resume next week. While they're gone I'm holding down the fort, and there certainly isn't a shortage of things to do. At Matthew's Place the foundation for the second building is finished and now we're moving 35 pallets of bricks (think clay cinder blocks) Tomorrow all the guys are getting together and we'll have a nice little cookout during our lunch break. If you've ever built a house, then you know that it's a long and tedious process that is well worth it when it's all said in done. I was reminded of that today while I was reading in 1st Corinthians. Paul concludes chapter 15 by saying " So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless." Just wanted to say thank you again for everyone back home who continues to support me in prayer, love you guys!

http://beliefinmotion.org/MatthewsPlace.aspx - The link to Matthew's Place if you would like to know more

It is FINISHED

Taking it to the nations

Last week I got to see God use an eight year old boy to take the Gospel to the nations and make an amazing impact on a woman's life. Florica is a widow who lives on top of a mountain and is very isolated. The Bruski's found out about her when they went to the mayor and asked for the ten poorest Romanian families. When the group went to visit her, Will began to bond with her right away with her and before he left they were both in tears. She begged for him to stay, and he even wanted to stay the night with her. He continued to call her throughout the week, leaving her joyfully crying each time. It was one of those things that even though they spoke two completely different languages, you knew it didn't matter. To see God use an eight year old in such a mighty way was pretty awesome, and it has left me pretty hungry to see what he's going to do next in Romania.

Just wanted to let you guys know that God has used this week as a huge encouragement that he is in control, and that missions is definitely where he's put my heart at. It may only be a week in but it has been a much needed act of love on his part. I'll try my best (keyword - try) to update the blog as often as possible and let everyone know the specifics of everything I'm doing. Continue to pray for me, you'd be surprised how willing God is to answer the prayer of an earnest heart. Just want to leave you with some scripture that God has been drilling into my heart lately, it comes from Romans 3:23 and 24
"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet God, with UNDESERVED kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he FREED us from the penalty of our sins."

Finally Home!

After about 34 hours of travel, I've finally made it to Romania. While waiting in London I was reading from John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life and came across something that I found to be very encouraging and motivating. He says "Some of you will die in the service of Christ. That will not be a tragedy. Treasuring life above Christ is a tragedy"