If I were to become completely transparent as a man, you would see that often my greatest struggle is a continual pursuit of finding my identity. It' like who I am is never static or fixed; it always seems to be subjective to what I want other people to think of me. Not all people mind you, but only those I hold in reverence. To the rest, I quickly dismiss with the hollow mindset of, "I'll just be myself, and if they don't like me then I can't change that!" You see, I get their identities wrong too in believing that anyone is somehow beneath me. Meanwhile, I elevate the praise of others almost as if they themselves were idols because at my core, I was made to worship.
Though I rarely look inward, it's at my core that my identity is found. It doesn't matter what others say about me; it doesn't even matter what I say about me. So then; where then is my worth, my identity found? I'll let spoken-word artist Propaganda explain:
"Worth, value, and beauty are not determined by some innate quality, but by the length for which the owner would go to possess them. And broken and ugly things just like us are stamped 'Excellent' with ink tapped in wells of divine veins."
In the end, the only words that will ever carry any weight about our identity are those spoken by God. And not only did He speak; He acted. He stepped in, rescued and redeemed us. In Isaiah 43 He assures His people of their worth by saying, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you."
If you're like me, in no more than a weeks time you'll forget this. The very words your soul seeks to hear from God you will crave to hear from others. His words will be drowned out by the world and an infectious desire for self-gratification. That's the very reason I can rejoice in a passage like Psalm 107.
Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
prisoners in affliction and in irons,
for they had rebelled against the words of God,
and spurned the counsel of the Most High.
So he bowed their hearts down with hard labor;
they fell down, with none to help.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
and burst their bonds apart.
Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
For he shatters the doors of bronze
and cuts in two the bars of iron.
You see, God frees us from one of our greatest captors: Ourselves. Therefore, "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in a time of need." Love you guys, thanks for taking the time to see what God is teaching me!
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